HOLD EVERYTHING!!! The most SPECULATIVE of Speculative Rips

While Kyle Walker's goal in our previous post was more akin to what one would expect when talking about a rip from distance, this may end up winning the first inaugural Speculative Rip of the Year Award. Inigo Martinez (Not Montoya, like "I am Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die"), a Spanish U21 defender playing for Real Sociedad, apparently has been watching too many Xabi Alonso highlights.

WATCH THIS CANNON












What a screamer!!! Usually when a goal is scored from your own half it's looped up and over a keeper who is picking daisies at the edge of his 18 yard box. This ball was hit on a string and tucked hard up under the crossbar, past/over a diving keeper, from 65 YARDS OUT.

Truly impressive from the young Spaniard. A banner day here at 3MW, where we make all your speculative rip dreams come true

Speculative Rip of the Week

Arsenal continued their tailspin today with a loss to Spurs at White Hart Lane. Their Polish keeper Wojeshook SheSheznee (that's how I pronounce it) bailed them out on a few occasions throughout the contest, but looked a bit like a wacky waving inflatable arm-flailing tube man on a late effort from the 21 year old Kyle Walker.


footyroom.com TOT-ARS by footyroom

Skip to 3:27 to see the boomer. Walker puts some extra spicy mustard on this thing, and it swerves its way past Shesheznee's arm flailingness. Great stuff from the youngster, and great self confidence to take a rip from there.

FIFA Legend: Peter Crouch(osaurus)

There are some players in this world that just should not be good at soccer. Rino Gattuso is one. Paul Scholes certainly looks like he could be stocking the lower shelves of your local supermarket. But the number one player who NO ONE would pick out of a lineup to be a professional soccer player is the Crouchosaur. At 6 feet 7 inches tall, his only evident ability might be heading the ball. In fact, however, Crouch has a very poor record of scoring headed goals. However, this fact is apparently not translatable to EA Sports' FIFA video game franchise.

Simply put, the great galloping dinosaur is unstoppable in FIFA. Whip in a cross anywhere near his toothy head, and he'll get his noggin around it and shape it home. I've been victimized by him on fadeaway headers from the penalty spot looping over my keeper more times than I care to remember.

Crouch's slender head is not his only FIFA weapon, however. His "telescopic legs", as the inimitable Ray Hudson describes them, are deadly at tapping home back post balls that no normal human could reach. And his better than average footskills have translated well into FIFA, to the dismay of his opponents.

In short, beware the ever-present danger of the Crouchosaurus.

"LOL umm idk why i'm better than u in FIFA! Probably 'cuz I'm not married to a horse?"

Frank Lampard Peaces Out at Swansea City

Frank Lampard, one of the stalwarts of the Chelsea midfield for the past ten years, is apparently not in new manager Andre Villas-Boas's long term plans. He has not started in three of the last four games, and was taken off at halftime in the 3-1 loss at Manchester United.

In the Blues' latest match at Swansea City, Lampard was on the bench until the 83rd minute, when Chelsea used their last substitution to bring in the 18 year old youngster Josh McEachran. At which point Lampard promptly clomped his way down the tunnel without talking to his manager.

Lampard is 33, and a veteran and leader in a Chelsea side that is in the early stages of a push for Champions League and Premier League glory. Putting himself before the team in this way shows Lampard's childish sense of resentment about not being chosen, along with jealousy towards his teammates.

I can only imagine what kind of mood the dressing room was in after the game, but I'm sure Lampard heard some choice words from the likes of John Terry and Petr Cech about leadership and a team-first mentality. This kind of mental weakness is what separates good teams from great teams, and right now it is obvious that Chelsea is in the former category.

"But I want an oompa-loompa NOW!!!"

Carling Cup

Just finished watching the Carling Cup match between Man United & Leeds United. Although there once was a great rivalry here, that is no longer the case. The depth of this current United squad is stupid good all their "bench" players started---you know, scrubs like Sir Ryan Giggs, Dimitar Berbatov, Ji-Sung Park, among others haha. Anyways, the match was a comfortable 3 nil scrubbing by the Red Devils. A brace from the sumhow not injured Michael Owen and then a beauty by the ageless Walesman Giggys (video below).

Speculative Rip of the Week

This week's epic smack comes courtesy of a small Croatian man with floppy hair. That's right, Luka Modric has struck again, this time depositing the first of 4 Spurs goals past a helpless Pepe Reina. Watch and be amazed:

It's every midfielder's dream to have the ball come hopping towards you out of a scrum, begging to be smashed into the top corner. Modric obliged with a swerving effort that no keeper in the world could have stopped. Kudos to you, good sir.

Cristiano Ronaldo strikes again...

Not to pick on Cristiano or anything, but his press conferences as of late have been nothing short of gems. I mean seriously everyone needs to tune into his next press conference at the next leg of the champions league.

If you have read the earlier post about Ronaldo being beautiful and rich etc etc, this next one shows his arrogance. Prior to his game against Dinamo Zagreb he was asked about what he thought of the skills of Mario Gotze, an up and coming German international who currently plays for Borussia Dortmund.

Typical Ronaldo replied "Who's Gotze? In what position does he play? Is he good?"

Now, I understand that not everyone knows everyone, but if this blogger knows about him, then surely Cristiano Ronaldo should...or at least heard the name before, this kid isn't exactly a nobody.

I'm not blaming Ronaldo and calling him a bad person, if fact if he knew about Gotze I would be shocked. Ronaldo responded in the exact way that people should expect; if it ain't about him, don't ask the question.

Anywho, just an average week in the life of Cristiano Ronaldo