FIFA Legend: Peter Crouch(osaurus)

There are some players in this world that just should not be good at soccer. Rino Gattuso is one. Paul Scholes certainly looks like he could be stocking the lower shelves of your local supermarket. But the number one player who NO ONE would pick out of a lineup to be a professional soccer player is the Crouchosaur. At 6 feet 7 inches tall, his only evident ability might be heading the ball. In fact, however, Crouch has a very poor record of scoring headed goals. However, this fact is apparently not translatable to EA Sports' FIFA video game franchise.

Simply put, the great galloping dinosaur is unstoppable in FIFA. Whip in a cross anywhere near his toothy head, and he'll get his noggin around it and shape it home. I've been victimized by him on fadeaway headers from the penalty spot looping over my keeper more times than I care to remember.

Crouch's slender head is not his only FIFA weapon, however. His "telescopic legs", as the inimitable Ray Hudson describes them, are deadly at tapping home back post balls that no normal human could reach. And his better than average footskills have translated well into FIFA, to the dismay of his opponents.

In short, beware the ever-present danger of the Crouchosaurus.

"LOL umm idk why i'm better than u in FIFA! Probably 'cuz I'm not married to a horse?"